So long, and thanks for all the fish

I am not actually going away, but this blog is undergoing to makeover. I have decided to self-host this blog. I do appreciate all of you who follow me, and I will be continuing to blog but at a different address and expanding the topics that I write about. To read more about the move please visit us at life30014.us

I Stand Up to Bullying and Discrimination

Following up on my previous post, I am often apprehensive about speaking at board meetings. There is usually some point of contention or disagreement that prompt me to speak up. I do did not have any formal public speaking skills. That changed in January 2023 when I started attending school board meetings after hearing about some concerning events.

I can’t say I would have felt this strong even a year ago.

Shasta County Board of Education Member Bullies Parent on Facebook

There are a lot of issues going on at Gateway Unified School District in Shasta county. Last month I heard about a recall effort and decided to learn more. I have since become a supporter and volunteer. The reasons that I support a recall of two board members have (or had) nothing to do with LGBTQ issues, but the opposition has brought that to the front.

I live by a simple mantra ‘Be kind to others’ … Why have they taken to posting transphobic memes about me?

Intro to TikTok

I missed my self-set deadline for launching the YouTube channel. I still plan to make it happen. We heard about something we felt was more important so I put it aside last week to focus on another video to help a young man and his family deal with bullying.

Someone that I follow posted a video and I felt like it needed my attention. A mother was asking for creators to send support, telling her son that it was okay to be himself. I was bullied in school so I can relate.

@speechprof

Replying to @chefjmassie It’s just wild to me to see grown men in my comment sections doing literally the exact thing that those bullies were doing. What a sad life that must be. #bullying #toxicmasculinity #paintednails #istandwithalexthekidcosplayer

♬ original sound – The Speech Prof

His hair was not long by California standards, and he asked to paint his nails black. Being the awesome supporting parent that she is, she helped him do it. It makes me very happy to see other parents support their children like this and let them explore who they are and express themselves how they like.

I am a TikTok Creator?

So last week I am not sure that I had even been on TikTok, though I was familiar with it. Now I not only have an account but I am a creator. I waverd on whether or not I should post it, and learning to edit videos, the dilemma of what to cut and what to keep was monumental task, but we did it. They left me some very touching comments, which makes it worthwhile and gave me such a good feeling.

@bobbies778

In my experience bullies are often envious or feel threatened by the strength of others. Thanks to @speechprof #istandwithalexthekidcosplayer

♬ original sound – DIDLife – DIDLife

Blossoming

NB: All links in this article will open in a new tab.

I finally did it. I started on my path to being a content creator on YouTube. It was not something I ever aspired to be, however both my kids do. I am aware there are others that have channels about DID but I tend to stay away from them. Well, I used to. Recently I have seen a commentaries by therapists about movies, and a journalist I like covered DID, and I like what they had to say. I feel that I could add to the conversation and help people understand it more.

When I learned about DID I felt very alone. It was not something that I felt I could share with anyone – save a select few. I had a therapist much younger than a lot of people, and we discovered this about our self much earlier than a lot of people. I had books recommended to me, and I even had an opportunity to meet someone else with DID. The books were fine but I was very excited to meet an actual person with DID. However, when we did meet the age gap was so much that we really did not have a lot to talk about. But it was nice to confirm that I was not alone, so it was not for nothing.

I digress – I know my last post said short form and here I am rambling on. The point here is that I like helping people. I like teaching about computers. I know alot about aviation, and the logistics of air travel. Trains, Farming… the list goes on. But one thing I know a lot about is DID. And if I had someone that could model what life with DID could be like when I was young, I would not have felt alone, or scared, or a myriad of other feelings.

A lot of media portrails of DID depict it as something scary, or that there are monsters inside us. This simply isn’t true. I won’t say there are not scary people out in the world – there is a plethora of people without DID that are quite scary and dangerous. I want the world to know that we exist. DID is real; you may very well know someone with it that masks well enough that you do not notice. I want to show that we can live a satisfying life. We can have a career. And we can raise a happy family.

We can help others learn by sharing our life experience. My goal is to help others know they are not alone. I have answered many posts on reddit from people asking how to support a friend or partner with DID. Answer: Patience, Love and empathy.

So stay tuned for more updates about the YouTube channel. My goal is to have at least one video posted by the end of January 2023.

Blog style

I am going to try a new format for this blog. I realized that I try to tell stories and they tend to wander, partly from ADHD and partly I am detail oriented and do not like to leave anything out.

To this end, I am going to try an “I had a thought” style and see how it works. I am not sure if perfectionist is the right word but I know I over-analyze and criticize my own work heavily which holds me back from smashing that Post button. My wife described it as Twitter style, which we both hate to say since it is a bit of a dumpster fire right now. So anyway- now to end this before it rambles on forever…

Acceptance

I had the nicest experience this week. I needed this, in part because my schedule was so crazy and appointments kept shifting so I couldn’t rely upon what I had on my schedule to know what was going to happen.

I live in a semi-rural area. This past week we were out in the country and stopped by a “corner store”. It is a local family-owned grocery, deli, and fuel station. As per usual Bobbie was out with the boys. After loading groceries in the back a boy popped out of a car that just parked 2 spots over, bounded over, and said “You look really pretty.” After the requisite yet sincere, “Thank you.” He turned to talk to Simeon. A man, whom I presume is his Dad, was by all appearances what one would expect to see in a farming community. Short hair, muscular, with a shirt to show it off. They continued into the store after a friendly greeting; I did not see as much as a sideways glance or a questioning look on his face.

The irony of judging a book by its cover, so to speak is not lost on me. I am the last one that should be talking about expectations from the visual appearances of a person. But I think the reason that it struck me so much was that I can be accepted by anyone. And that interaction and the non-questioning attitude from a person that presented to traditionally was very affirming.

I doubt he will ever know how much he affected my day but I send him good thoughts and thank yous anyway. I have seen many different reactions from parents – mostly good and encouraging. Some embarrassed and one lady even vanished with her two girls from what I could tell when she sensed the youngest was going to ask questions. That made me laugh, but also makes me kind of sad. I hope they grow to be open and accepting of all people.

Mom’s visit

A lot has happened since my last post on the topic of clothes. I really want to keep posting but between anxiety, depression, and life in general it gets very sporadic. I thank everyone that has offered support and expressed interest in hearing about my story, and as much as it pains me to post things in such a random order, I also realize that if I want to continue sharing that is just going to be a fact of life. When we left off last time we were pondering what manner of dress we would be in when Mom came for a visit.

It has been nearly two years since we have seen her … we have been mulling over whether we will go ‘incognito’ again or show up wearing our new style

The 5 Me’s of We

I saw this poem on reddit and it really struck a chord with me, so I will share it with you all. If you like it please goto reddit and let the author know.

Note: I have been trying to get the embed text to a more readable color but WordPress and I are not coming to an accord and I want to get this post out.

What time is it?

I’m sorry to say it is not “Adventure Time”. This is about how my recall of time is very skewed.

I hate to admit that. It was very hard to admit that. I used to think it was good but my wife has finally convinced me it is NOT. 

Most people that know me are amazed at how accurately  I can tell time without a clock. Usually, without looking when someone asks I am within 15 minutes. If I am more than 30 minutes off everyone is surprised. It is helpful when cooking – I set timers as GP but I usually get up to check the stove or oven with two minutes or less left on the clock. 

My problem with time is that if more than 24 hours have passed, I apparently don’t know if it has been a day, a week or a month. Which is really frustrating when I lose things and try to backtrack and figure out when it was that I saw it last. I don’t recall the events that changed my mind, but my wife had several examples in a short amount of time (I think) that convinced me she was right. It was especially hard because she is not great at telling time of day or day of the week. That is one reason I fought the realization so hard.

C’est la via. I suppose that is one reason we make a great team. She can’t tell time, I can’t tell days. But we balance each other.